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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

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Impossible Decisions

Question: Please help me. [very long description of the geographic, financial, child-rearing, and personal issues of a divorce] Can you help me with any words of wisdom. Answer: I can't help you with any of the specifics of your very difficult and complex situation. What I can do is to suggest ways to approach those decisions. 1. Get away for a few hours to clear your head. Perhaps take a walk in the woods by yourself. Appreciate the beauty of nature. Enjoy the silence. Whenever thoughts of your problems pop into your head, just thank them, release those thoughts, and return to your silent walk. 2. Make a "list of gratitudes." Write down everything that is good in your life - your physical and mental good health, your children's health - keep filling page after page with everything there is to be grateful for. 3. Hold a "release ceremony" for your troubles. Light a candle or small fire. Write each problem or worry on its own piece of paper and feed that trouble to the cleansing fire. Celebrate as each trouble goes up in smoke. 4. Now, take a piece of paper for each troublesome question you need to decide. Divide the paper into two columns. Write the arguments for one possible decision on the left, and the arguments for the other possible decision on the right. Tear the paper into the two columns. Place one of the columns of paper into each hand. Close your eyes and hold your hands out to the side. Breathe. Open your eyes. Make the decision represented by the hand that has raised itself higher than the other. How does that decision feel? If you feel relieved and pleased by the decision, good, you have made the right decision. If you feel disappointed by the decision your hands made, reverse that decision. 5. Implement your decision and never look back unless a significant new event occurs. May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Further reading: How to Make a Decision You Won't Regret Zero-Based Gratitude

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