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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (jlh @sail7.com)

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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

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Expectations - Demands

There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
I Say NO to the demands of the world.
I Say YES to the longings of my own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Expectations, like assumptions, are a grave danger to your emotional health.

An expectation is a demand. In a sentence such as, "I expect you to be on-time for work tomorrow," the demand is clearly stated. However, expectations are often invisible.

A person may know, as a perceived fact, that it is their spouse's duty to take out the trash, or to wash the dishes. If there has been no explicit mutual agreement to the obligation, the expectation (demand) is an invisible one - created by cultural tradition.

Improve your professional and personal relationships, and lead a more joyful life, by becoming aware of these invisible perceived expectations (demands).

As with assumptions, because expectations are often invisible, you can't tackle them all at once. But do be conscious of their existence, and stamp out each expectation as soon as you catch a glimpse of it.

There will be many times in your life when agreeing to the demands of another is a good decision. Just make sure that you obligate yourself by conscious decision - and not through the handcuffs of unconscious cultural tradition.

Read my personal story of dealing with expectations: Assumption, Expectation, and Anger - A Personal Confession


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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just married in December and the understanding he laid out was u take care of the inside and I will take care of the outside which is fine ...but this week has been emotional for myself and I got side tracked by my health...I feel guilty that I didn't do the laundry he tells me thay I'm slacking ...I just wonder I know I didn't do this intentionally am concerend over my well being ...my question was or am I wrong for this?

Jonathan Huie said...

to "just married:":

1. Never feel guilty about anything.

2. Your health is always more important than the laundry.

3. You say "he laid out" the division of responsibilities, rather than mutually agreeing. That sounds like a very bad beginning for a marriage.

4. Criticizing one's spouse is also an indication of an unhealthy marriage.

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