Welcome to my thoughts on Living with Joy, Purpose, and Conscious Choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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Here, I share my thoughts on spiritual power, relationships, simple living, managing stress, work-life balance, career decisions, money, politics, the environment, and much more.

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The content of all my blogs/websites consists entirely of personal opinion.
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Thursday, August 23, 2018

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More thoughts on accepting others as they are

I have been asked to say more about this quote, and what if the other person causes relentless pain...

Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person might (or might not) be able and willing to change themself, but we have virtually no ability to change the nature of another person. Complaining, getting angry, making threats, etc, just further entrench a person in their unpleasant ways.

What each of can control is our own response to the other person.

Let's say that the situation is a married couple who love each other and mostly like each other, but are annoyed by minor defects in the other, like tending to be late for appointments. In this case, I would say to focus on what is good, to avoid criticism, and to lovingly attempt to look at the lateness as a quirk rather than as a defect.

But if the issue is repeated affairs or drunkenness, that's totally different.  Personally, I'd recommend separation when possible, which it isn't always.

Let's say the problem person is your boss. Same answer. If the issues are minor, focus on the positive, and choose to accept the rest with joy and an upbeat attitude. But if the issues are serious, get a new job.  In any case, never cling to the hope that another will change.

Also note that love vs. hate  is a separate issue from how much time you choose to spend with another.  You can still hold good feelings toward a person (and avoid hating them) even if you find you no longer want to spend time with them.  A marriage or job can end without creating enemies (of course that requires both parties to act like adults).

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Monday, August 13, 2018

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May God Grant You Serenity and Courage

A reader who is stuck in very challenging circumstances and "can't seem to get ahead," asks,"Any prayer, affirmation, or advice would be greatly appreciated."

My reply...

I recommend pursuing two paths simultaneously:
1) Work to improve your circumstances.
2) at the same time, Choose to live the most joyful life possible within your current circumstances.

It's one of life's great paradoxes ...
Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us
is critical to happiness.
Yet without a goal and commitment, life loses much of its value.
The best we can do in the face of this paradox
is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat
and ready to play again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)


May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie