How can I find what my happiness is supposed to be or look like?

From a reader: I'm going through some life stuff right now. People are always telling me to just 'be happy.' Honestly have no idea what that means... I've lived my life as a single mom. No idea what I'm to do now that they are all 'grown-ups.' How can I find what my happiness is supposed to be or look like when that's always seemed like such a luxury? Thanks.

My reply:

Thank you for writing.

For most people, happiness comes from service. In spite of the challenges and the long hours, I'm sure you received a large portion of happiness from being of service to your children.

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Look for a balance of pampering yourself (which you certainly deserve, and which would be a pleasant change of pace), finding new interests, and finding new ways to be of service to others.

As far as "happiness," that is much more a matter of choosing to be grateful for your life, and choosing to be happy, than a matter of the circumstances of your life.

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't
come as a result of getting something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
- Frederick Koenig

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie