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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (jlh @sail7.com)

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Tuesday, June 2, 2015

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Thoughts on Trust

Trust is not necessary when you don't want or need anything.
If you are wondering whether you can "trust" someone,
look closely at what it is you think you need or want from them.

When you need or want nothing, trust is not an issue.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Hmmm?!? Really?

I generally agree with Neale Donald Walsch, and always find his ideas thought provoking. However completely dismissing the value of "trust" seems extreme.

"Trust" seems to me to be yet another of the many domains in which a moderate perspective is best. I do agree that "trust" is generally overvalued by those who are needy and insecure. Consider the demand to "trust" that a relationship will never grow beyond its current boundaries -- that current personal or business partners will never wish to expand and move on. Surely, that exhibits neediness and insecurity.

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore


Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


On the other hand, I contend that certain levels of trust are essential. You really do need to trust that your spouse won't slit your throat while you sleep. To do otherwise would be paranoid, and create a miserable life.

So where to draw the line on "trust?" When do you believe what your spouse, or your business partner, or your banker, or a politician says -- and when do you verify? It must be a balance -- determined by what gives you the greatest quality of life.

You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment
if you don't trust enough.
- Frank Crane

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein


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