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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (jlh @sail7.com)

The content of all my blogs/websites consists entirely of personal opinion.
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Friday, April 20, 2012

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There are Only Fear and Love

Every day you feel a variety of emotions.

You can feel joyful, curious, interested, grateful, compassionate, hopeful, contented, and loving.

You can also feel fearful, disgusted, lonely, angry, sorrowful, embarrassed, shamed, guilty, envious, jealous, and hateful.

But suppose that all those emotions were actually variations of only two underlying emotions.

Today, spend some time considering the idea that there are only two basic emotions in the world. There is Love, and there is Fear, and all other emotions derive from those two opposites.

In particular, Hate is a derivative of Fear. A person can never hate that which they do not first fear.

The relationship between one of the negative emotions and fear is not always obvious, but it is always there. For example, if you are angry that your teenager doesn't pick up their room, you aren't afraid of your own child. What causes you fear is the feeling that you are not in control of the situation. We tend to feel feel fear when when we feel we are not in control and think we should be.

Another example is jealousy. Fear is the emotion that causes our upset when our spouse has an overly friendly chat with the waitress.

If we feel lonely, it is because we are afraid to be alone. If we hate all the people of a certain country, religion, race, color, or set of behaviors, it is because we fear such people.

Look deeply into what you are feeling. When you are joyful, you are feeling love. When you are unhappy, you are experiencing some form of fear.

You never hate that which you do not first fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

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Time to Move On


Question: I have suffered a lifetime of abuse, disrespect and humiliation within the circle of my immediate family. I have finally walked away and expressed that I will not ever, ever, ever, tolerate disrespect, ever again. What do you suggest Mr. Huie, to ease the pain.

My Answer:

Yes, be done with those who continue to hurt you.

Try to let go of the anger and hate, but be done - and don't look back.

Build other relationships. Join supportive groups. Especially look for opportunities to be of service to those less fortunate than yourself.

Read my article How to Move On and Let Go

These two article are addressed to somewhat different problems, but you may find some relevant thoughts in them:
How to Forgive and Move On
Don't Stay in a Broken Marriage "For the Children"

Once you have seen the truth,
you must make the decision to let go
of the pain, anger, and resentment you have been holding on to.
This requires you to take action.
If you are attached to your pain, resentment,
and self-righteousness, and addicted to your emotional reactions,
this will be a difficult step for you.
Taking action requires letting go of the very thing
you have been holding on to for so many years.
There is comfort in what we find familiar,
even if we are experiencing pain and suffering.
The pain and suffering itself becomes the familiarity we seek.
It takes absolute faith in yourself
plus courage, will, and discipline to let go.
But once you let go, it will be as if
the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders.
In this process it is important to forgive
not just the others in our lives, but also ourselves.
For most people, giving ourselves
the gift of forgiveness is very challenging.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

See more quotes about moving on

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Please let me know if I can help further.

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie